In Japanese dating culture, conversation and behavior on dates are characterized by modesty and consideration for the other person. This cultural background is deeply connected to Japan’s unique values of “respecting harmony” and its communication style of “reading the air. Particularly on a first date or in the early stages of a relationship, consideration for the other party is strongly required. This article details the characteristics seen in Japanese people on dates in terms of conversation and behavior.
Emphasizes the role of a listener in dating conversation
During dating, especially in the early stages, Japanese people emphasize listening to the other person rather than actively asserting their own opinions and feelings. This attitude is considered to show respect and interest in the other person. The following are some points to consider.
1. Be creative in the way you ask questions
To get the conversation going, ask open-ended questions about the other person’s hobbies and interests. For example, “What are you into these days?” or “What movies do you like? These questions are a good way to get the other person talking.
2. Reactions to show empathy
By responding to what the other person is saying with a moderate amount of humor or a positive reaction such as, “Well, that sounds like fun,” you can make the other person feel better. Excessive praise is unnatural, so it is important to respond in a natural way.
3. Do not be afraid of silence
In Japan, there is no need to force yourself to fill the silence that interrupts conversation. Silence is not necessarily negative and can be seen as a time to share a calm atmosphere.
Modest demeanor is preferred on dates.
When it comes to behavior on a date, the Japanese value low-key, polite behavior. Laughing loudly or engaging in conspicuous behavior tends to be avoided.
1. Behavior in public places
Manners in public places are very important in Japan. On trains and in restaurants, people are expected to be quiet and not to disturb others. For example, it is common to refrain from intimate skinship in public during a date.
2. Matching pace
While on a date, you are expected to match the pace of your partner. When walking together, it is important to pay attention to the speed and direction of the other person and be aware of enjoying the date as equals.
3. Gifts and hospitality
To show small consideration for the other person, you may prepare a small gift. For example, researching in advance what sweets the other person might like and bringing them along will be appreciated.
Modesty in Early Dating
Modesty is very important, especially in the early stages of dating. It is considered a basic manner to make a good impression on the other party and build trust.
1. Choice of clothing
Clean, non-flamboyant clothing is preferred. A style that is simple but shows consideration for the other party is appropriate.
2. Punctuality
Punctuality is very important to the Japanese. Being late for a date can be perceived as disrespectful to the other party, so care should be taken.
3. Flexibility in date planning
On a first date, try to choose a place or activity that the other person will like. However, it is important to be flexible and incorporate the other person’s opinion rather than imposing a plan.
Conclusion
Japanese dating culture is based on consideration for others and modesty. Such behavior is also a means of communicating respect and seriousness toward the other person. To a foreigner, these rules may seem a bit modest, but understanding and practicing them will help build a better relationship.
Modesty in dating is one of the unique virtues of Japan. Understanding this culture and trying to stay in tune with Japanese sensibilities will enrich your cross-cultural interactions.